Saturday, November 29, 2008

Speed kills...

Thoughts of a bad-ass poker player v. 1.

I looked down at pocket 5s, I wanted a cigarette pretty bad, but I had a feeling about the hand. A pretty flop of A59 rainbow played out in my head. I scratched my temple. Might even raise this bitch I thought to myself.

I spat out two the big chips spinning them in the air and them coming to rest on one another. I half-laughed half-sneered and leaned back eyeing the idiots at my table. I licked my lips in anticipation as one after another called me down thinking I was overplaying another shitty hand again.

I tried to run my fingers smoothly through my hair but they caught on the dirt and tangled curls so I just scratched the back of my head. The lady in seat two caught my awkward movement and I tightened my eyes into a glare. She looked away.

The dealer, another jackass with a rap, the same one, over and over again, put the flop cards down, and teased us before turning them saying his catchphrase, "Wait for it..."

I didn't even bother looking. I fired out a bet, confident my set was there and lost one of them callers. The two other fools hadn't had enough though.

A tall guy in seat 8, studied the board waiting for the turn. He was on a draw, that was clear enough to see. I smiled, "Chasers, never learn."

The turn looked like brick city to the guy in seat 8. I fired a larger bet without even thinking. The guy in the middle called and seat 8, despite a good price, but not quite the right price folded. See you meat, I muttered.

I decided the board was irrelevant. I eyed the dirtbag in the 5 seat. He had a mullet, a couple of Phil Mickelsons (man-boobs), and ability to call you down with rags. He was good for the game.

The dealer said, "Wait for it" again. I tilted my head at him and he saw I was irritated and fired out the river.

Out of the corner of my eye I watched seat 5 try and check out of turn. MORON.

I don't need to play a board, I don't need to see my cards. "All you can handle," I pushed my stack in toppling the chips.

The dirtbag turned to me with a straw in his mouth, " I was hoping you'd say that."

He turned over A2.

I showed my 55.

The dealer smiled and said, "Wait for it" one more time. Then pushed the pot to the dumbass.

"Pocket 5s, you a stupid shit aren't you, speeding with that mess,"

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